one thing that's really been on my heart lately... again... children and families in need, meaning children in foster care or with limited/supervised visitation with their children. i have always had a heart for the children... but this week, i keep thinking about the parents. obviously, i know if they don't have their children, there should be a legitimate reason. what i keep thinking tho is HOW DO WE HELP THE PARENTS BEFORE THE KIDS ARE REMOVED?? trust me, i am a REALIST... i KNOW there are people who just don't want help or they don't want to change their behavior/lifestyle. but... being a parent doesn't come naturally to everyone!! some people really struggle with how to be a successful parent, especially if they didn't have positive roll models.
then i got back to thinking about this blog... and i DID entitle it "the gonsers one big loud happy blended family" so clearly, on some level, i intended the focus to be on FAMILY!! and more specifically BLENDED family. lets face it... more and more families ARE blended. it may seem easy, but what mike and i learned is: just because the two adults fall in love, doesn't mean EVERYONE will fall in love!! blending a family takes time, patience, and work.
the hardest part? what I feel is the hardest part is... not being able to be with all the kids ALL THE TIME! more often than not, the family is blended because of divorce (rather than death) so there will be other parents involved. of course, our case has to be more complicated!!! :)
we have five other parents...
sabreana and sireana's bio-dad
sabreana and sireana's bio-mom
mollie- jordan's mom
lexi's bio-mom
brady and brittin's bio-dad
we like to keep things complicated!!
some parts are simple: brady, brittin, and lexi live with us 100% of the time with minimal time spent with their other biological parent. jordan however, lives with her mom, mollie, near chicago. BAM!!! not only does she not live with us, she lives almost three hours away!!! it's heart wrenching!!! when she's with us for a weekend, it finally feels like our family is whole!! and when we take her back... ugh... i can't stand it!!
we are soooo lucky though, because mollie is an excellent co-parent!! she's so helpful and supportive of us seeing jordan and being with her! THAT ALONE IS A HUGE PART OF BLENDING A FAMILY!!! i can't stress this enough... getting along with all the CO-PARENTS IS CRITICAL!! not just for your own sanity but for the children!! fighting with anyone doesn't solve anything!
so, last night... we made that dreaded drive to chicago to take jordan home. we had her for four days to celebrate her SWEET 16!!! we had a great weekend and of course were sad to take her home. but we did get to super surprise her with mollie!!!
jordan was VERY surprised!!
this is a perfect example of how sweet mollie is... she knew how badly we wanted to be there to see jordan get her car, so instead of giving it to her tomorrow on her birthday, she arranged for us to bring her home and give it to her then! win win!!
so, even though it was the pits taking her back, it was exciting to surprise her and see her so happy!!
happy sweet 16 jordie jordashian!!! i love you!!! <3 <3 <3
wow... i just proof-read this and realized i really saw a squirrel and didn't cover the "how do we help parents with their parenting skills?" question... oh well... that will have to be for another day ;)
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