choices & consequences

something has really been bugging me lately... so i thought i'd take it to the BLOG!  and... i don't want to spout merely my own opinions, i want to back it up with the TRUTH.  GOD'S TRUTH.

as a mom, i survived the first two teenagers, and now we have three more.  i struggle on a daily basis with:

1.  allowing my children to make mistakes that build character.
2.  giving my children freedom without allowing them to run wild.
3.  teaching them their CHOICES lead to CONSEQUENCES.

number 3 is what i'm really bothered by lately. 

choice-  the act of choosing : selection <finding it hard to make a choice> 
(from webster's dictionary)

we all have them... choices.  God gave us FREE WILL!  and he gave us RULES!  as "Christians" if we take the attitude "Jesus died to save me from my sins.  Church is for unconditional acceptance" we are REALLY missing the mark!  YES!  Jesus did die for our redemption!  Yes, our sins are cleaned and we are "born again" ... but that DOES NOT give us permission to do whatever we want!

if i speed, i will inevitably be pulled over.  when i speak to the police officer should i explain "but Jesus died for my sins!"  probably not!  i should accept the CONSEQUENCE of my CHOICES!! 

when my child goes somewhere he's been told not to and stays out past his curfew, should he tell me "but mom, you're supposed to love me no matter what and Jesus died for my sins!"  well, he CAN tell me that, but he will still receive a NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCE for his CHOICES. 

as i said, i didn't want to rattle off my opinion alone, so i found two fantastic scripture verses:

1 John 3:4     

Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness.

i like this one.  "PRACTICE OF SINNING".  the old saying "practice makes perfect"... we can't just go around making sin a habit!  when you accept Jesus as your Savior and His GIFT of new life/forgiveness, in return He expects us to FOLLOW HIS RULES!  to not follow the rules would be similar to joining a organization, but refusing to follow the guidelines or participating in events!  to be offended that the organization expects you stay within the expectations is very unreasonable! 

Isaiah 59:2     

But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear. 

i love this one.  just think about the FIRST sin!  what did adam and eve immediately do??  they covered themselves up and tried to HIDE from God!  we can't hide!  God already knows what we've done!  when we slip up (and we will!) turn to God for forgiveness!  but don't be upset when there are EARTHLY CONSEQUENCES  for our CHOICES! 

i'm going to open myself up here... when my husband and i met, within a week we knew "this was it".  i knew i would spend the rest of my life with him.  and we decided to live together.  live together... clearly this is against God's Word.  and i do believe we created a separation between God and ourselves. 

after we were married, i can honestly say both our Spiritual Lives and well as our Earthly Lives vastly improved!  We've both received promotions at work as well as raises. God worked a miracle with my health.  Our children are excelling in school and hobbies.  Really, I could rattle off dozens more.  but my point is:  CONSEQUENCES.  every CHOICE has them.  some are positive and some are negative.

i think this has really been bothering me because of the condition of our country.  the more we accept, the more people do.  "give an inch, take a mile".... 

i want to end this on a positive note.  we all slip up.  some days, i have the mouth of a sailor.  sometimes i find myself gossiping.  i'm human.  i'm going to make mistakes.  but each day, i get up and try to make the best choices i can that line up with God's word.

John 15:9-17 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

will the real laurie please stand up?

i have FOR REAL, tried to blog at least six times... and couldn't.  so.... once again, here i go again at the attempt to blog about my

OPEN HEART SURGERY!!!!!!

 

i can honestly say, this has really been a JOURNEY.  i used that word before my surgery, but now i understand the true depth of that word.  last night i was thinking about what i would blog and i got an idea... a list... of the STUPID things i thought/said BEFORE the surgery. 

 

1.  i'll have the surgery and then a three week VACATION. 

 

2.  while i'm on my three week vacation, i'll get SO MUCH DONE AT HOME!  clean, decorate, paint, organize!  it will be fabulous!!

 

3.  i've had three c-sections, i can handle the "pain".

 

4.  i know the doctor said it's a 4-8 week recovery time, but i'm young... so i'll go back to work after 4 weeks.

 

5.  said to the doctor:  "do i REALLY need to take a narcotic pain med?  can't i just take some extra strength Tylenol??"

 

6.  i packed MAKE UP for my hospital stay!!!  what the?!?!?!  make-up?!  i didn't even want to wash my hair! 

 

 

i'm sure there are many more ridiculous things i thought, but lets just start with these!

 

 

one thing is certain... this surgery i had was WAAAAAAY more intense and emotional than i or mike expected.  the range of emotions i deal with on a daily basis is ALL OVER THE PLACE!  

 

i'm going to try to start from the beginning.  i was so heavily medicated for several days, a lot of what i know is from my family telling me.

 

the surgery:

i suppose you could say it was a "success".  i'm here to blog, so mission accomplished.  the bottom line is:  when i went for my consultation with the surgeon, he felt i needed the surgery within the next two years... after the surgery was completed and he met with mike, he let him know the condition of my heart situation was much more serious than anyone originally thought.  i had several incorrectly developed branchy things (technical term!!) my aneurysm was much more severe and after the surgery, instead of a normal stay in the recovery area, my heart went berserk and they had to knock me back out to get it to calm down.

 

a funny:  they give you A LOT of meds... both for pain and for an amnesiac effect.  i only marginally remember some of the things i said, but here's a good one:

 

                     recovery room nurse-  are you ok?  do you need anything

                     me-  i'm fine except i can't frigging see!!  i need my f*#king glasses!!!!

                     nurse-  okay... where are your glasses?

                     me-  i left them in my bag in the car.  my husband will bring them!!!

                     nurse-  would you like me to call your husband to remind him?

                     me-  NO!!!  you don't need to call my husband!  he is the most responsible, organized person i know!!  he doesn't need to be reminded of anything.

                     nurse-  o....k....

 

                     in walks mike- here are her glasses

                     me-  SEE!!!  i told you he didnt need reminded! 

 

day 2:  i really don't remember much of day one.  going in... waking up in recovery... my memory goes in and out... i remember grabbing at people above me holding ice chips... begging for more.  maybe even screaming at them.  i remember how absolutely DELICIOUS diet sprite tasted!  day two... SUCKED!  i remember waking up... and the PAIN.  pain like i've never felt in my life.  gut wrenching... take your breath away pain.  i actually wanted to die.... only because i didnt think i could live thru that pain.  it was unbelievable.  one nurse told me "today is the worse day of your life.  the absolute worse day of pain you will ever have."  while this may sound negative... it actually cheered me up!  i kept telling myself, "laurie, if you can survive today, you can make it!  each day will get better and better!"  and it did.  my first "walk" was at the most 10 ft.  and i had to sit and rest before i could make the 10 feet back to my bed.  that was very discouraging. 

 

at the time, i thought i looked pretty "normal"  YEAH RIGHT!!!

 

 

originally i was told 4-6 days in the hospital.  i like to keep things spicy... so on day two, i thought i'd liven things up a bit....  mike had just arrived with our "bigs", aka lexi (13) and brady (12).  the nurse was doing her hourly torture.  she asked me to cough.  i did.  the next thing I know, she's screaming my name at me.  i said "i don't know WHY you are SCREAMING at me!!  i'm RIGHT HERE, i did what you asked me to do!!"  in my little world, i didn't even know i flat lined for 11 seconds.  i don't  like to think about it.  after that "episode" the doctor decided it was time for a pace maker.

 

my 4-6 day stay... turned into 8 days.  i became somewhat hysterical on day 7.  i thought for sure i would go CraZy!!!  i did get my dad to bring my precious puppy to visit me!!

 

this is around day ... 4 or 5... i'm a HOT MESS.

 

 

 

i swear it looks like i'm choking him, but i promise i'm not!

 

Recovery..............

 

i was so excited to go home... but once i was home i saw laundry and dishes and cleaning.... my husband did an AMAZING job with the kids and house... but that didn't stop me from trying to do laundry the first day home!  i was scolded and shooed out several times.  i definitely over-did it many many times.  and finally, when mike caught me in the garage trying to paint, lifting my arm... he sat me down and gave me some harsh facts about my surgery, the pace maker, and wanting me to live!  after i cried... i realized i HAD to follow the doctors instructions.  i have too much to live for!  so i spent the next three weeks really trying to absolutely behave! 

 

 right around the end of week 2.  my staples had just come out... i was still feeling pretty rough.

 

 

and today... my first day back to work... i'm surprised at how sitting at a desk is actually tiring.  i'm just about done for the day.  i like to think i'm SUPER WOMAN... but actually... i'm just laurie.

 

me now.  clearly feeling a bunch better.  ready to enjoy the rest of my LIFE!

 

 

 

the untold hardest part...  i don't know if anything or anyone can fully prepare you for a HUGE surgery.  and maybe it's best that they don't...  but one thing i definitely didn't expect was the emotional toll it would take.  i'm all over the place with my emotions.  i'm not my spunky old self, and its noticeable to my friends and family.  and maybe the hardest part is my lack of motivation or enthusiasm for the activities i REALLY LOVE.  i WANT to be excited to do things... i WANT to WANT to participate and be active... but right now all i want to do is SIT.  i FORCE myself to walk because i value being able to fit into my pants.  but i want the REAL LAURIE BACK!  i want to feel like my "old self" only.... i want to be a "NEW old Laurie"...  summer is undoubtedly one of my favorite seasons... and this year, i don't know if its the crazy cold weather we're having or just me in a weird funk, but i just can't seem to get into the summer groove.  and i soooo want to!  right now it's like my body and mind are at odds and my body keeps winning.

 

i think that's about all i can handle right now.  seriously, if you have questions, please ask!!  i am happy to answer anything!!  and if you have found my blog thru an Internet search... maybe you or a loved one is facing a big surgery... I'M HERE FOR YOU!  even if you don't know me... please feel free to ask anything!  i'd love to help others thru this process!

 

have a blessed day!



 

 



from the heart... my open heart journey....

i've decided to blog my "OPEN HEART SURGERY" journey... so here we go :)

i've already shared in previous posts how we discovered the aneurysm... and the valve issues... so i'm just going to start from yesterday.

in prep for the BIG DAY... i had a fun filled day (NOT) at the hospital yesterday!!  the doctors wanted as much info as possible before going in.  the valve issue was still in question, so it was determined i should really have a TRACHEAL ECHO.  ok... and because i had an aortic repair in 1983, the doctors also wanted to make sure that was still good... and i should have a HEART CATH to check that out.  super!   and while i'm there... we'll get all the pre-surgery tests done too.  i knew it was going to be a GREAT DAY!!!


obviously, the first thing they asked me to do was take off my NORMAL clothes and put on the "GOWN".  lets think about that for just a minute...  i just googled "gown" and THIS is what i got:

 and others similar...

 

 

 but THIS is what the hospital means!  HOW IS THAT A GOWN!!  not to mention, they had two sizes to offer... XS or XXL.  hmm.... so i got one that wrapped around me twice!  and check out the "footies".... that come to my knee! 

of course, i had to make some funny faces!!! 

and here's mike and i waiting for all the fun to start!

 

i had the "pre-surgery tests" first... chest x-ray, throat ultra sound (that was alittle weird), blood work, and the standard pee in a cup.  easy.

next would be the "tracheal echo".  a nurse type person came in and went over the procedure with me.  i heard:  "we'll give you a big shot.... swallow a probe... " and then i checked out!  I DON'T WANT A BIG SHOT IN MY THROAT!  AND I SURE AS HECK DON'T WANT TO SWALLOW ANYTHING!  then she clarified... not a needle shot... a drink shot!  ok... and she assured me it would be disgusting.  cool, i can't wait!  then there was something about a numbing spray... and me being awake so i could make a swallow motion... 

it's time... they lay me on my left side.  i have a towel... aka "drool bib" placed under my face.  i get my "shot" and i sorta licked it out like jello shot.  it was this SUPER THICK gel like substance... extremely medicinal tasting with a hint of cherry.  seriously??  the cherry was a ridiculous attempt at making it enjoyable.  FAIL!  at the same time i'm numbing my entire mouth and throat, the nurse guy was putting something delightful into my IV.  now they SAID i would be awake for the swallowing of the probe, but i sure as heck don't remember it! 

the next thing i remember is i'm now in a different room getting prepped for the heart cath.  they're messing with my arm... someone asks me where i went to school.  i remember saying "what do you mean?  high school or college?"  at one point they were looking at a bruise on my fingers and i told them "never mind that, i slammed it in the damn washing machine last night!!"  that really did happen by the way ;)

and that's it.  then i woke up to this:

 

and something about pulling the tube... and letting air out slowly... and acting like my wrist was broken... and if it filled with blood, don't bother with the nurse button, just scream like crazy.  ok. 

 

i hadn't eaten since the night before... so mike ordered me some food.  i remember i really wanted soup.  so he got me chicken noodle... one of my favs.  and a fruit cup and some sherbet.  i ate.  then slept.  and slept some more.  around 5:00 i got to leave.  my wrist was wrapped very tightly.  i was told to watch for bleeding... and there was none praise God! 

 

my wrist is very sore today.  and i'm in a weird mood.  it's like ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT is monday and the surgery. .... not even so much the surgery, but the recovery.  i'm completely freaked about the recovery.  i know i'm young and in excellent health otherwise... so i will be fine and do great.  i suppose i'm just afraid of the unknown.  

so... that's it.  monday i have to be there at 5:00 a.m.  they will be replacing my aortic valve with a mechanical one.  they will be repairing my aorta.  and i will be great!! 

thanks for all the love, prayers and concern!!

love you all!!

the countdown is on...

the doctor's office just called me to give me the 411 on my little surgery.  so here it is:

monday, april 29th 7:00 a.m. with an arrival time of 5:00 a.m.  HELLOOOOOO!!! do they NOT know i don't do CRACK OF DAWN!?!?!  good grief!  oh well, i guess i'm going right back to sleep huh!  i just hope mike will take a blanket and snooze in the waiting room.

i was told i'd be in the hospital for 4-6 days... ish... roughly. 

i'm going to give mike my phone and make him post on my facebook all day!!! 

tomorrow i go in for all the pre-surgical tests and a heart cath and some down the throat peek at my aortic valve.  as soon as i have more on that, i'll let everyone know. 

a little heart surgery please...

i've tried to write this several times, to no avail... so here i go again!  starting from the BEGINNING!

 

Once Upon A Time... there was an ADORABLE little blonde girl named

Laurie.  she was sooooo cute!  just look!!!

 

THAT'S ALOTTA CUTENESS!!!

 

alright... lets be serious now!

 

in 1982, when my parents took me to my "kindergarten check-up", my family doctor realized something was wrong when i had no pulse in my ankles.  yeah.... that can't be good.  so, long story short- i ended up having closed heart surgery to repair a coarctation of the aorta.  the surgery went well and i was good to go!

faaaasssst forward...........................

in may 2010 i wasn't feeling well.  i thought it was just stress from work.  but i was REALLY feeling bad, so i went to the ER... my blood pressure was out of control.  they did a CT Scan and found a 4.4 cm aortic aneurysm.  it was a "watch and see" situation.  i was told i needed to have it monitored on an annual basis.

this is the part of the story where i look pretty bad...  i DIDN'T follow doctors orders.  after that initial CT Scan in 2010, i never had it checked again........

so God stepped in.

God is really amazing!  he knows WHAT we need and WHEN we need it!  about a month ago, that same family doctor from my childhood came into my office... just as he does every year... to get his taxes done!  of course he's long since retired, but we enjoy chatting when he comes in each year.  this year as we were catching up, he mentioned he just had an aortic aneurysm repaired.  "i have one too!!", i said.  and that's when he looked at me with that.... "doctor look".... and tipped his... lowered his eyes... and said in a low tone "laurie.... are you getting that monitored?"  um.... so this is when i had to sheepishly lower my head and whisper "no...."

you can probably guess what happened next!  as soon as my sweet old doctor left... i was on the phone to my current family doctor!!  i think it probably sounded something like this:

scheduler person:  "granger family medicine, how can i help you?"

me:  "oh my God... i CAN'T DIE!!!  tell dr. scott i need referred to a cardiologist who i DON'T have a language barrier with and i need a CT-SCAN NOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

scheduler person:  .... thinking to herself, "why do I always get the crazies?!?!?"


so... i went and met with a cardiologist... we DID have a language barrier.  i thought he said i should go on a "meditation diet" but he REALLY said i should go on a "MEDITERRANEAN DIET".  I DON'T WANNA DO EITHER!!!  but he DID send me for a CT-SCAN.

You can imagine my surprise when i arrived for my Scan and they start talking about IV's!  i'm like "whoa!  what's going on here!  what are we doing??"  apparently, SOMEONE forgot to tell me this was a Scan with DYE!  i'm still not thinking it's a big deal... until they shoot that junk in me and i have an allergic reaction to it that made me want to scratch my face off and i was quite certain my lips were ....

aaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 



next... a few days go by and my doctor's nurse calls me:

nurse:  "hi... (read this with a soft sympathetic tone!) ... i wanted to go over your CT Scan... and let you know there IS an aneurysm."

me:  inside my head "duh, please tell me NEW info!!" 

what i did learn from this call was that my "smallish" aneurysm was now a "big enough to repair" aneurysm.  this made me :) :(

when i learned in 2010 that i had that little sucker, i didn't like the fact that we couldn't repair it.  i always felt like a time bomb.  if it were to burst, there's no making it to the hospital... in 30 seconds your done. 

I HAVE KIDS!!!! I CAN NOT DIE!!!!

And now with this new info... i was sent to a cardiothorasic surgeon.  and that brings us to this week.

mike and i went into the doctors office.  immediately i was distracted by the fact that he looks EXACTLY LIKE MATTHEW PERRY!!!!  it's sooo awesome!  anyway... back to my heart... 

my aneurysm is 4.9 c.m.  at 5 c.m. they operate.  HOWEVER...i ALSO have a bad aortic valve... so surgery is a must.  what i THOUGHT i was going to hear was ".... outpatient... back to work in a few days.... "  but what i ACTUALLY heard was:

"5 to 7 days in the hospital.  another week completely down at home.  then another 2-6 weeks of recovery.... you can go back to work PART-TIME after 4 weeks... MAYBE."

anyone who's spent five minutes with me, knows I CAN'T SIT STILL FOR 4 MINUTES LET ALONE 4 WEEKS!!!!!  i can't be down that long!!  i have a husband.... kids... dogs... laundry... FURNITURE TO PAINT!!!!!!  THIS CAN NOT BE HAPPENING!!!!

then.... there's the alternative... without surgery, it's like a watching waiting game.... of when will it burst.  the dr. was quite certain i wouldn't make it to 55.  that is UNACCEPTABLE! 

so surgery it is.  full blown... all the way... open heart... surgery.  april 29th.  memorial hospital.  i have an echo scheduled for monday to see what's really going on with the defective valve.  then i have to squeeze in a heart cath... then surgery.

so, my plan for the next two weeks:

~ create a master calendar to organize my family, make numerous copies and pass out to all my extended family (there is NO WAY i'm a control freak!!)

~ turn my bedroom into a haven of relaxation and healing (where do i put the dogs??)

~ paint AS MUCH FURNITURE AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE (i NEED to keep my store stocked!)

~ research activities to keep me from going bat $hi+ crazy for 4-8 weeks

~ TAN.  i really want to look good for this surgery

~ get two nail fills.  again... i need to look put together!

there you go... i don't know if that answers all the questions... but feel free to ask more!!  thank you for all the love, concern and prayers!!!!

love you all!
laurie

a morning in the life of laurie... a classic story full of "laurisms"

as i ATTEMPTED to get myself ready for work today, it occurred to me... if America REALLY wants some reality tv, film my family from 6-7 a.m.  THAT is REAL.  it goes something like this:

i get up.  i don't want to.  i tell mike, "getting up is stupid".

i realize my stuffed up nose did not magically go away overnight.  i'm annoyed.

i brush my teeth.

i go wake brittin up.  she wants to snuggle.  i REALLY wish we had time for that.

i pick out her clothes.  .... the purple "butterfly shirt" she loves.... black leggings.... hmm... those look BIG.  oh, it's because they are MINE.  here's the black leggings i looked for ALL LAST WEEK.  now i need to apologize to everyone i accused of stealing my leggings.

brittin is groggily searching for her "toms" and attempting to put them on.  i suggest we take PJ's off first and GET DRESSED! 

off to my room to REALLY begin the madness.

i try to convince brittin to start getting dressed.  not impressed with her speed, i take matters into my own hands.  i help her get her new little "sports bra" on.  i SWEAR its the hormones in the chicken!  then we spend two minutes reiterating the fact that she DOES NOT need to tell EVERYONE at school she has a bra on.  she wants to know if she can tell her teachers.  NO!  now she declares she has to poop and wonders if i got the sock out of the toilet.  just the fact she had to ask that tells you something about our family.  yes, i got the sock out of the toilet.    off she goes.

now, i have a VERY BRIEF TIME ALONE to try to get myself ready.  start the make-up... WAIT, i realize there's a dog in my shower... yep, rossi's eating the bar of soap.  yell at her.  back to the make-up.  i get about half way done and my ADD takes over.  i want to look for my jeans.  not just any jeans... my fat jeans.  i want to be comfy today.  i head to the laundry room.  in the hall, i meet brittin.  she tells me, "i just pooped like a dragon".  i actually just shake my head because i'm not sure what to say.  then i mumble "ok, go finish getting dressed". 

in the laundry room... no luck finding my pants.  i go look in my closet.  no luck.  i look in the dirty clothes.  no luck.  another dirty clothes.  no luck.  now i'm TOTALLY ANNOYED!!!

oh well, i'll finish my make-up.  wait, there's a dog in the shower... again!  now SKYLAR is eating the bar of soap!  yell at her. 

make-up... must... finish... make-up.  done.

clothes.  WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?  i start riffling through the MOUND of clean clothes on on the giant chair in our room.  ah ha!  my favorite tank.  this IS going to be a good day!  now... my pants.  i search EVERY PLACE again.  i even look in lexi's closet... that is scary.  i still can't find my jeans.  i make a huge mess in the laundry room... no jeans. 

Steven Spielberg is in my bedroom.  thats what it feels like anyway.  brittin is OBSESSED with making videos on my phone.  now that she's dressed, she's making a video of her shoes.  i ask what she's doing.  "i'm making a video of my toms for the kids at school who i love".  how can i argue with that.  meanwhile, i'm still running around with no pants on... while she's video taping... everything.

finally...  i surrender.  i put on my "normal jeans". 

now I am ready.  BRITTIN is ready.  what about my bigs???  lex is ready.  i've hollered at brady three times, so he's miraculously ready.  with seven minutes until departure, he pours the BIGGEST bowl of cereal i've ever seen.  at least he's eating. 

i run out and start my car.  i think to myself "march 19th and i still have to warm up my car??  why don't we live in Florida?" 

last check before we leave.  brittin has glasses on and she took her meds.  her hair is combed.  big dogs in the kennel.  little dog running wild.  brady's had his meds.  lexi is appropriately dressed.  i have shirt AND pants on.  my breakfast is ready to go.  we can do this!!!

we leave... 3 minutes late... but that's okay, i built "lateness" into our schedule!

it's time to ROCK tueseday! 

"learning a lesson"

we've been so busy lately, i haven't had time to do much... let alone blog.  but a saturday at work is fairly quiet, and i'm sitting here thinking about my family...

today, while i'm at work, mike and the kids are doing their own "work".  and our kids are "learning a lesson".  normally the phrase "learning a lesson" implies you did something wrong that has lead you to learn from the consequences of your decisions.  that's NOT the case today.

today my children are learning about the harsher realities of life.  they are seeing first hand unfortunate circumstances some children live in. 

for over 40 years, my dad has owned rental properties.  i grew up tagging along side my dad during the laborious cycle:  showing the homes, trying to make good decisions when choosing tenants, chasing down rent, evicting people, going to court.... and cleaning up... literally.  obviously not every situation is horrible.  over the years dad has had many, many wonderful tenants.  many of whom have become lifelong friends of our family.

my dad called me a few days ago and asked if mike and i would mind giving him a hand with a vacancy.  my dad NEVER asks for help, so of course we were happy to give him a hand.  we went last night to check it out.  mike... being new to this game was pretty grossed out.  he's already a germaphobe... and the absolute filth only grossed him out more.  add in the overwhelming smell of dirt/smoke/big dog/poop... it was enough to turn any one's stomach.  the entire house needs to be emptied, cleaned, repaired, new carpet, and painted.  i looked and my dad and thought "no wonder he's asked for help". 

my children knew one of their classmates lived there.  they caught some smack talk for it at school.  and today, they are helping to clean up the mess.  they will see first hand how some children live.  we've always told them "don't judge and be kind... you never know what happens in your classmates lives when they go home".  today, that's been made alarmingly clear. 

when mike and i did the walk thru last night, we found a report card.  the student is in the same grade as our bigs... i expected to see all failing grades... shame on me.  his grades were good.  and i was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness.  this boy who's behavior is reportedly "questionable"... has potential!  we were amazed at his athletic ability during the football season... AND good grades!  he COULD do so much with his life....  but will he?  with no familial support?  without a clean loving house to come home to?  as we drove away last night, mike said to me "there's no hope for those kids is there?"  and i said "no.  not if something doesn't change.  it's going to take foster care, church, a mentor, a kind teacher... SOMETHING to give those kids hope... to make a change"... 

so what's my point here today.  i'm not sure.  i feel all rambly (and sad)... but i think what i'm trying to say is:

1.  cherish your family ... whoever it is... love them and provide a HOME they can feel safe and loved in.  it doesn't have to be fancy or big... just clean and full of love and attention. 

2.  remember, that unruly classmate in your child's class may go home to an empty house everyday... cook their own dinner and live in unsanitary conditions. 

3.  if you can... reach out to children in need... thru your church, school, a mentoring program, become a foster parent... anything.  YOU could make the difference in a child's life. 

ok... i'll leave you with that :)

have a BLESSED weekend and love on your family!