The Gonser's... One Big Loud Fun Blended Family!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

from the heart... my open heart journey....

i've decided to blog my "OPEN HEART SURGERY" journey... so here we go :)

i've already shared in previous posts how we discovered the aneurysm... and the valve issues... so i'm just going to start from yesterday.

in prep for the BIG DAY... i had a fun filled day (NOT) at the hospital yesterday!! the doctors wanted as much info as possible before going in. the valve issue was still in question, so it was determined i should really have a TRACHEAL ECHO. ok... and because i had an aortic repair in 1983, the doctors also wanted to make sure that was still good... and i should have a HEART CATH to check that out. super! and while i'm there... we'll get all the pre-surgery tests done too. i knew it was going to be a GREAT DAY!!!

obviously, the first thing they asked me to do was take off my NORMAL clothes and put on the "GOWN". lets think about that for just a minute... i just googled "gown" and THIS is what i got:

and others similar...

but THIS is what the hospital means! HOW IS THAT A GOWN!! not to mention, they had two sizes to offer... XS or XXL. hmm.... so i got one that wrapped around me twice! and check out the "footies".... that come to my knee!

of course, i had to make some funny faces!!!

and here's mike and i waiting for all the fun to start!

i had the "pre-surgery tests" first... chest x-ray, throat ultra sound (that was alittle weird), blood work, and the standard pee in a cup. easy.

next would be the "tracheal echo". a nurse type person came in and went over the procedure with me. i heard: "we'll give you a big shot.... swallow a probe... " and then i checked out! I DON'T WANT A BIG SHOT IN MY THROAT! AND I SURE AS HECK DON'T WANT TO SWALLOW ANYTHING! then she clarified... not a needle shot... a drink shot! ok... and she assured me it would be disgusting. cool, i can't wait! then there was something about a numbing spray... and me being awake so i could make a swallow motion...

it's time... they lay me on my left side. i have a towel... aka "drool bib" placed under my face. i get my "shot" and i sorta licked it out like jello shot. it was this SUPER THICK gel like substance... extremely medicinal tasting with a hint of cherry. seriously?? the cherry was a ridiculous attempt at making it enjoyable. FAIL! at the same time i'm numbing my entire mouth and throat, the nurse guy was putting something delightful into my IV. now they SAID i would be awake for the swallowing of the probe, but i sure as heck don't remember it!

the next thing i remember is i'm now in a different room getting prepped for the heart cath. they're messing with my arm... someone asks me where i went to school. i remember saying "what do you mean? high school or college?" at one point they were looking at a bruise on my fingers and i told them "never mind that, i slammed it in the damn washing machine last night!!" that really did happen by the way ;)

and that's it. then i woke up to this:

and something about pulling the tube... and letting air out slowly... and acting like my wrist was broken... and if it filled with blood, don't bother with the nurse button, just scream like crazy. ok.

i hadn't eaten since the night before... so mike ordered me some food. i remember i really wanted soup. so he got me chicken noodle... one of my favs. and a fruit cup and some sherbet. i ate. then slept. and slept some more. around 5:00 i got to leave. my wrist was wrapped very tightly. i was told to watch for bleeding... and there was none praise God!

my wrist is very sore today. and i'm in a weird mood. it's like ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT is monday and the surgery. .... not even so much the surgery, but the recovery. i'm completely freaked about the recovery. i know i'm young and in excellent health otherwise... so i will be fine and do great. i suppose i'm just afraid of the unknown.

so... that's it. monday i have to be there at 5:00 a.m. they will be replacing my aortic valve with a mechanical one. they will be repairing my aorta. and i will be great!!

thanks for all the love, prayers and concern!!

love you all!!

Monday, April 22, 2013

the countdown is on...

the doctor's office just called me to give me the 411 on my little surgery. so here it is:

monday, april 29th 7:00 a.m. with an arrival time of 5:00 a.m. HELLOOOOOO!!! do they NOT know i don't do CRACK OF DAWN!?!?! good grief! oh well, i guess i'm going right back to sleep huh! i just hope mike will take a blanket and snooze in the waiting room.

i was told i'd be in the hospital for 4-6 days... ish... roughly.

i'm going to give mike my phone and make him post on my facebook all day!!!

tomorrow i go in for all the pre-surgical tests and a heart cath and some down the throat peek at my aortic valve. as soon as i have more on that, i'll let everyone know.

Friday, April 12, 2013

a little heart surgery please...

i've tried to write this several times, to no avail... so here i go again! starting from the BEGINNING!

Once Upon A Time... there was an ADORABLE little blonde girl named

Laurie. she was sooooo cute! just look!!!

THAT'S ALOTTA CUTENESS!!!

alright... lets be serious now!

in 1982, when my parents took me to my "kindergarten check-up", my family doctor realized something was wrong when i had no pulse in my ankles. yeah.... that can't be good. so, long story short- i ended up having closed heart surgery to repair a coarctation of the aorta. the surgery went well and i was good to go!

faaaasssst forward...........................

in may 2010 i wasn't feeling well. i thought it was just stress from work. but i was REALLY feeling bad, so i went to the ER... my blood pressure was out of control. they did a CT Scan and found a 4.4 cm aortic aneurysm. it was a "watch and see" situation. i was told i needed to have it monitored on an annual basis.

this is the part of the story where i look pretty bad... i DIDN'T follow doctors orders. after that initial CT Scan in 2010, i never had it checked again........

so God stepped in.

God is really amazing! he knows WHAT we need and WHEN we need it! about a month ago, that same family doctor from my childhood came into my office... just as he does every year... to get his taxes done! of course he's long since retired, but we enjoy chatting when he comes in each year. this year as we were catching up, he mentioned he just had an aortic aneurysm repaired. "i have one too!!", i said. and that's when he looked at me with that.... "doctor look".... and tipped his... lowered his eyes... and said in a low tone "laurie.... are you getting that monitored?" um.... so this is when i had to sheepishly lower my head and whisper "no...."

you can probably guess what happened next! as soon as my sweet old doctor left... i was on the phone to my current family doctor!! i think it probably sounded something like this:

scheduler person: "granger family medicine, how can i help you?"

me: "oh my God... i CAN'T DIE!!! tell dr. scott i need referred to a cardiologist who i DON'T have a language barrier with and i need a CT-SCAN NOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

scheduler person: .... thinking to herself, "why do I always get the crazies?!?!?"

so... i went and met with a cardiologist... we DID have a language barrier. i thought he said i should go on a "meditation diet" but he REALLY said i should go on a "MEDITERRANEAN DIET". I DON'T WANNA DO EITHER!!! but he DID send me for a CT-SCAN.

You can imagine my surprise when i arrived for my Scan and they start talking about IV's! i'm like "whoa! what's going on here! what are we doing??" apparently, SOMEONE forgot to tell me this was a Scan with DYE! i'm still not thinking it's a big deal... until they shoot that junk in me and i have an allergic reaction to it that made me want to scratch my face off and i was quite certain my lips were ....

aaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

next... a few days go by and my doctor's nurse calls me:

nurse: "hi... (read this with a soft sympathetic tone!) ... i wanted to go over your CT Scan... and let you know there IS an aneurysm."

me: inside my head "duh, please tell me NEW info!!"

what i did learn from this call was that my "smallish" aneurysm was now a "big enough to repair" aneurysm. this made me :) :(

when i learned in 2010 that i had that little sucker, i didn't like the fact that we couldn't repair it. i always felt like a time bomb. if it were to burst, there's no making it to the hospital... in 30 seconds your done.

I HAVE KIDS!!!! I CAN NOT DIE!!!!

And now with this new info... i was sent to a cardiothorasic surgeon. and that brings us to this week.

mike and i went into the doctors office. immediately i was distracted by the fact that he looks EXACTLY LIKE MATTHEW PERRY!!!! it's sooo awesome! anyway... back to my heart...

my aneurysm is 4.9 c.m. at 5 c.m. they operate. HOWEVER...i ALSO have a bad aortic valve... so surgery is a must. what i THOUGHT i was going to hear was ".... outpatient... back to work in a few days.... " but what i ACTUALLY heard was:

"5 to 7 days in the hospital. another week completely down at home. then another 2-6 weeks of recovery.... you can go back to work PART-TIME after 4 weeks... MAYBE."

anyone who's spent five minutes with me, knows I CAN'T SIT STILL FOR 4 MINUTES LET ALONE 4 WEEKS!!!!! i can't be down that long!! i have a husband.... kids... dogs... laundry... FURNITURE TO PAINT!!!!!! THIS CAN NOT BE HAPPENING!!!!

then.... there's the alternative... without surgery, it's like a watching waiting game.... of when will it burst. the dr. was quite certain i wouldn't make it to 55. that is UNACCEPTABLE!

so surgery it is. full blown... all the way... open heart... surgery. april 29th. memorial hospital. i have an echo scheduled for monday to see what's really going on with the defective valve. then i have to squeeze in a heart cath... then surgery.

so, my plan for the next two weeks:

~ create a master calendar to organize my family, make numerous copies and pass out to all my extended family (there is NO WAY i'm a control freak!!)

~ turn my bedroom into a haven of relaxation and healing (where do i put the dogs??)

~ paint AS MUCH FURNITURE AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE (i NEED to keep my store stocked!)

~ research activities to keep me from going bat $hi+ crazy for 4-8 weeks

~ TAN. i really want to look good for this surgery

~ get two nail fills. again... i need to look put together!

there you go... i don't know if that answers all the questions... but feel free to ask more!! thank you for all the love, concern and prayers!!!!

love you all!
laurie

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

a morning in the life of laurie... a classic story full of "laurisms"

as i ATTEMPTED to get myself ready for work today, it occurred to me... if America REALLY wants some reality tv, film my family from 6-7 a.m. THAT is REAL. it goes something like this:

i get up. i don't want to. i tell mike, "getting up is stupid".

i realize my stuffed up nose did not magically go away overnight. i'm annoyed.

i brush my teeth.

i go wake brittin up. she wants to snuggle. i REALLY wish we had time for that.

i pick out her clothes. .... the purple "butterfly shirt" she loves.... black leggings.... hmm... those look BIG. oh, it's because they are MINE. here's the black leggings i looked for ALL LAST WEEK. now i need to apologize to everyone i accused of stealing my leggings.

brittin is groggily searching for her "toms" and attempting to put them on. i suggest we take PJ's off first and GET DRESSED!

off to my room to REALLY begin the madness.

i try to convince brittin to start getting dressed. not impressed with her speed, i take matters into my own hands. i help her get her new little "sports bra" on. i SWEAR its the hormones in the chicken! then we spend two minutes reiterating the fact that she DOES NOT need to tell EVERYONE at school she has a bra on. she wants to know if she can tell her teachers. NO! now she declares she has to poop and wonders if i got the sock out of the toilet. just the fact she had to ask that tells you something about our family. yes, i got the sock out of the toilet. off she goes.

now, i have a VERY BRIEF TIME ALONE to try to get myself ready. start the make-up... WAIT, i realize there's a dog in my shower... yep, rossi's eating the bar of soap. yell at her. back to the make-up. i get about half way done and my ADD takes over. i want to look for my jeans. not just any jeans... my fat jeans. i want to be comfy today. i head to the laundry room. in the hall, i meet brittin. she tells me, "i just pooped like a dragon". i actually just shake my head because i'm not sure what to say. then i mumble "ok, go finish getting dressed".

in the laundry room... no luck finding my pants. i go look in my closet. no luck. i look in the dirty clothes. no luck. another dirty clothes. no luck. now i'm TOTALLY ANNOYED!!!

oh well, i'll finish my make-up. wait, there's a dog in the shower... again! now SKYLAR is eating the bar of soap! yell at her.

make-up... must... finish... make-up. done.

clothes. WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR? i start riffling through the MOUND of clean clothes on on the giant chair in our room. ah ha! my favorite tank. this IS going to be a good day! now... my pants. i search EVERY PLACE again. i even look in lexi's closet... that is scary. i still can't find my jeans. i make a huge mess in the laundry room... no jeans.

Steven Spielberg is in my bedroom. thats what it feels like anyway. brittin is OBSESSED with making videos on my phone. now that she's dressed, she's making a video of her shoes. i ask what she's doing. "i'm making a video of my toms for the kids at school who i love". how can i argue with that. meanwhile, i'm still running around with no pants on... while she's video taping... everything.

finally... i surrender. i put on my "normal jeans".

now I am ready. BRITTIN is ready. what about my bigs??? lex is ready. i've hollered at brady three times, so he's miraculously ready. with seven minutes until departure, he pours the BIGGEST bowl of cereal i've ever seen. at least he's eating.

i run out and start my car. i think to myself "march 19th and i still have to warm up my car?? why don't we live in Florida?"

last check before we leave. brittin has glasses on and she took her meds. her hair is combed. big dogs in the kennel. little dog running wild. brady's had his meds. lexi is appropriately dressed. i have shirt AND pants on. my breakfast is ready to go. we can do this!!!

we leave... 3 minutes late... but that's okay, i built "lateness" into our schedule!

it's time to ROCK tueseday!

Saturday, March 9, 2013

"learning a lesson"

we've been so busy lately, i haven't had time to do much... let alone blog. but a saturday at work is fairly quiet, and i'm sitting here thinking about my family...

today, while i'm at work, mike and the kids are doing their own "work". and our kids are "learning a lesson". normally the phrase "learning a lesson" implies you did something wrong that has lead you to learn from the consequences of your decisions. that's NOT the case today.

today my children are learning about the harsher realities of life. they are seeing first hand unfortunate circumstances some children live in.

for over 40 years, my dad has owned rental properties. i grew up tagging along side my dad during the laborious cycle: showing the homes, trying to make good decisions when choosing tenants, chasing down rent, evicting people, going to court.... and cleaning up... literally. obviously not every situation is horrible. over the years dad has had many, many wonderful tenants. many of whom have become lifelong friends of our family.

my dad called me a few days ago and asked if mike and i would mind giving him a hand with a vacancy. my dad NEVER asks for help, so of course we were happy to give him a hand. we went last night to check it out. mike... being new to this game was pretty grossed out. he's already a germaphobe... and the absolute filth only grossed him out more. add in the overwhelming smell of dirt/smoke/big dog/poop... it was enough to turn any one's stomach. the entire house needs to be emptied, cleaned, repaired, new carpet, and painted. i looked and my dad and thought "no wonder he's asked for help".

my children knew one of their classmates lived there. they caught some smack talk for it at school. and today, they are helping to clean up the mess. they will see first hand how some children live. we've always told them "don't judge and be kind... you never know what happens in your classmates lives when they go home". today, that's been made alarmingly clear.

when mike and i did the walk thru last night, we found a report card. the student is in the same grade as our bigs... i expected to see all failing grades... shame on me. his grades were good. and i was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness. this boy who's behavior is reportedly "questionable"... has potential! we were amazed at his athletic ability during the football season... AND good grades! he COULD do so much with his life.... but will he? with no familial support? without a clean loving house to come home to? as we drove away last night, mike said to me "there's no hope for those kids is there?" and i said "no. not if something doesn't change. it's going to take foster care, church, a mentor, a kind teacher... SOMETHING to give those kids hope... to make a change"...

so what's my point here today. i'm not sure. i feel all rambly (and sad)... but i think what i'm trying to say is:

1. cherish your family ... whoever it is... love them and provide a HOME they can feel safe and loved in. it doesn't have to be fancy or big... just clean and full of love and attention.

2. remember, that unruly classmate in your child's class may go home to an empty house everyday... cook their own dinner and live in unsanitary conditions.

3. if you can... reach out to children in need... thru your church, school, a mentoring program, become a foster parent... anything. YOU could make the difference in a child's life.

ok... i'll leave you with that :)

have a BLESSED weekend and love on your family!

Monday, February 25, 2013

the pants

I think most moms remember the outfit they brought their babies home in... Brady came home in a baby blue preemie sailor type outfit from his grandma marge. Britt came home in a pale pink velour GAP outfit.

Thats great:... But out of my six kids... I only brought 2 home from the hospital.

Saturday, lex says "i put some stuff on your bed that i don't want anymore". I didnt think much of it. Bedtime that night, mike asks about the stuff on our bed. I explain its clothes for the church clothes pantry... Stuff lex doesnt want... As i start to fold the items, i get down to the last piece.... A pair of white, well worn and slightly dingy capri sweats. I smile... And look at my husband. These were the pants that 3 years ago, lex was wearing the day i met her :) .... And i held them... And told mike, "i cant part with them. I may not have the outfit she came home in... But i have the pants she came to my life in!" And i quietly tucked them in my cabinet where i put all my kids keepsakes.

when i met lex... she was a shy, slightly awkward 10 year old. today, she's a: grumpy in the morning, giggly, girly girl who snap chats and instagrams and facebooks, and texts and buys more make-up than i knew possible!

this morning, for the first time ever, i had to tell lex to change her shirt... not quite the look i want my 13 year old to have... and she did it. no arguments... well, no verbal argument. but i think i saw, for the first time... the mad face of a teenager. and i realized, today i opened the door to the for real TEENAGE years!! and it hit me, SHE'S GOING TO BE MAD AT ME! i am going to make her do things and NOT do things and she will be upset with me! for a split second, i was crushed. who am i kidding... i was crushed for awhile!

during the silent drive to school, i realized how deep my love is for lex... how i don't want her mad at me... and how making decisions for her like what shirt to wear are so important!! its a HUGE responsibility to raise a child... some days will be harder than others. some days my children will LOVE ME and HUG ME!! and other days, i'm sure my children will want me to butt out and leave them alone!

in the end... when they're all grown up... and super successful adults... i'll be at home with brady's sailor suit, brittin's velour outfit, and lexi's sweatpants... and i'll know i did my best, and it was all worth it!