heart surgery... cancer... brain surgery... ENOUGH

2013 has kinda SUCKED for us.  the weird thing is... i don't feel mad or sad!  i just feel like, "well, here's another bump to navigate around."

in april, i found out i needed open heart surgery.

in july (here's one i haven't discussed...) my family found out my step-dad has cancer.  he will be having surgery to remove a lump on this coming wednesday, august 14th.

today, after 9 days of headaches, i took britt for a CT Scan and found out her ventricles are enlarged.  monday she will go in for a "shunt injection" ... where they put dye in her shunt and watch how it travels around her brain.  that will show the neurosurgeon if there is a blockage in the shunt. 

we've been here before... prepping for a shunt injection.  and deep in my spirit, i know what it's going to show.  brittin is showing all the signs she did before- headaches, nausea, serious crankiness...    

but the interesting thing is... the absolute Peace i feel.  yes, i'm upset.  i am overwhelmed with the desire to "baby" brittin.  i really don't want to see her head shaved and going thru her 7th brain surgery... but i have a Peace that could only come from God...  and the knowledge that God will be with us every step of the way... giving us strength and healing.

i'm sitting in my office... after hours... in the dark... watching the cars rush by.  everyone is in a hurry.  we all are.  it's society.  hurry up.  go faster.  wanting everything NOW.  brittin moves at a slower pace.  when we were camping a month ago, inside my head i was thinking "hurry up brittin" as she meandered along... but then i thought to myself "maybe I'M the one who's wrong here!  maybe brittin's pace is the RIGHT pace!"  and ever since that moment, i don't encourage brittin to "hurry up" or "move faster".  i remind her to stay focused... but her pace is perfect!

so i'm going to head home... let her do my hair and make-up... cuddle with her... and move at her pace for the rest of the weekend!  :)