Friday, November 30, 2012

confessions of a self-diagnosed A.D.D. mom

i made a liberating and life changing decision today!!  but i think i'll start from the beginning...

in 1999, i started noticing i did weird things like ... counting EVERYTHING... i had an obsession with symmetry, even numbers, and numbers divisible by five.  yeah... even typing it, i'm thinking WOW!  crazy lady!  i did these things, but pretty much kept it under control. 

i dont know if it was the hormones or what, but after i had brady, these little obsessions of mine got worse.  by 2001, i was having panic attacks if my world wasn't even, symmetrical, organized...  and Lord help me if i was going somewhere that might be crowded... that tripped a whole separate level of anxiety!  my family was being affected, so i went and talked to my doctor. 

he decided i have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... OCD.  solution- a low dose of paxil, an anti-anxiety med and i went to a psychologist that specialized in OCD behavior modification.  he was awesome!!  after nearly a year, i was doing great!!

faaaaasst forward.  2011.  i'm STILL taking paxil.  and after several failed attempts of not using it... i came to the realization, i just need to take it.  i don't have the issues with OCD anymore... just think back to the picture of my laundry room!!!  clearly, i'm NOT concerned with obsessive organization!!  i'm cured!!!

so then i got to thinking about my other "quirks"... and after all i've learned about Attention Deficit Disorder from dealing with brady, i started to realize... I HAVE A.D.D. (and... perhaps hypochondria?!?!) 

2012... i talk over this "epiphany" of mine with the doctor.  i've had the same doctor for 12 years.  inside his head he was probably thinking "DUH!!!"  but he was really nice... and agreed, i probably do.  being the responsible doctor he is, he insisted before prescribing any A.D.D. meds, i needed to go have the A.D.D. test done...

yeah... so i called, and that test was $600 for brady, but for an adult, it's $900!!!!!  um... pass.  my first reaction was that i bawled.  i really thought if i started taking some medicine, i could focus and be a better person.  i was really really upset when i couldn't do it!

i think that was about two months ago.

i was walking into my office yesterday... i had spent my lunch cuddling with sky (because i thought she was going to heaven) and making a project for ReInVintaged...  as i walked in, i thought to myself "wow laurie... you have ALOT going on right now!"

1.  job #1 that pays the bills
2. job #2 that i love and does NOT pay the bills
3. kids- a real lot of em
4. hubby- completely amazing and keeping me sane
5. pets- one tragically ill
6. house- in a constant state of chaos
7. 24 days of RACK- organizing it, doing it...
8. running around collecting things for the Pay It Forward a our church
9. adopted family from CAPS
10. co-ordinating the craigslist RACK projects
11. cookie exchange on saturday

wow... thats just a lot going on right now.......

which brings me to today!!!!!  i realized some things:

1.  because of my A.D.D. (self diagnosed of course!!) i start ALOT of projects

2.  God has brought an amazing person into my life who helps keep me focused and FINISHING things!!  ah hem... michael!!

3.  God has also brought people into my life who pick up some of my projects and finish them... sireana, mom, dad, michael...  because of them, ALOT OF STUFF GETS DONE!

and i got to thinking... if i didn't have A.D.D. would i get as much done??  would i still be me?? 

now don't get me wrong, i'm not one of these "tom cruise types"... i totally think God wants us to use medicine when appropriate.  but i'm also not the pill pushing type.  i don't think EVERY problem can be solved with a pill. 

so i decided.... my life changing and LIBERATING decision... I WILL ACCEPT MYSELF JUST AS GOD MADE ME!!!  i function just fine!  i get my job done at work.  i get everything (mostly!) done at home~ with the help God sent!!!  why would i want to change??  i'm going to see my PERSONALITY as God's Gift to me... not something i should be ashamed of or change! 

so... honey... this is it... you'll have to continue to remind me to finish projects.  you will mostly likely have to continue putting things away that i simply put down... in the wrong spot!  you'll have to listen to all my "save the world" plans and occasionally help out with one!   but mostly, just love me the way i am!!  i do!!

Thursday, November 29, 2012

24 Days of RACK- Gonser Style

so, i promised you i would blog about our RACK project... so here we go!!

last night, we put together our Advent "Calendar" that will be used for the RACK project!  here it is:

i am a HORRIBLE photographer!!!

we need to go alittle higher... we hung it inbetween the great room and kitchen... it's a little too low :)
 
 
SO, HOW'S IT WORK??  good question!!! 
 
we have 24 numbered envelopes.
 
each night at dinner, we will open the envelope for TOMORROW.  this way if we need to do/prepare/buy something for the RACK, we have a day to do it.  so for example, tomorrow on nov 30, we will open the envelope for dec.1. 
 
we had a list of about 18 things to put in the envelopes.  we printed them out and placed a RACK in each evelope along with the "you've been RACK'd" card i got off the internet.  if the RACK required materials, i tried to put that in the envelope too.  for example, one day, we're supposed to find a filty car and put a gift card to the car wash on their windshield... so in that envelope, i put a gift card to the car wash. 
 
we only had 18 things on our list, so we wrote a craigslist add to see who we could help!  we had a huge response!!  over 30 people wrote to us!!  we stated in our ad that we'd be helping ONE family/person... after reading thru all of them.... which was a little sad... we were able to find SEVEN we could realistically help!!!  what an AWESOME FEELING!!!  brady and lexi were even so touched, they threw their own money in to buy presents for 2 little boys!!!  our children are so giving!  

as we open the envelopes each day, we will share on FB what we're up to!!  i'll try like crazy to get some pictures!!  and i'll try to blog our RACKing as well!!!

ok... so... BE BLESSED.... and... BLESS OTHERS TODAY!!!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

a Christmas Experiment

this year, our family is RACK'ing people for Christmas!
RACK= Random Acts of Christmas Kindness!!!!  i originally got the idea from pinterest during the summer.... here's the link http://tsjphotography.com/blog/random-acts-of-christmas-kindness-summary/  from pinterest.

i intend to thoroughly blog and FB the entire experience.  but right now, i'm just going to talk about ONE of our RACK ideas.

Craigslist.  by now, everyone should know my extreme obsession with "the craigslist".  at some point, my family may need to step in ;)    anyway... while our family was compiling our list of "random acts of Christmas kindness", my daughter sireana suggested placing a craigs list ad.  hm... craigslist... you have my attention!!! 

so i did.  here's my ad:

our family is celebrating the 24 days leading up to Christmas by doing one Random Act of Christmas Kindness each day.
do you need alittle random kindness? maybe you desperately need an oil change and can't afford it... maybe you don't have a Christmas Tree... maybe you need haircuts for all your kids...
maybe you know someone else who could use some Christmas cheer...
if so, please email us and tell us:

1. about you & your family
2. what is that you need
3. town you live in

our family will read all the emails together tonight and choose ONE.
emails will be accepted through 5 pm today- November 28th.
(please note, we have already "adopted" a family... so we aren't looking for a shopping list and all your family members wants)


i placed my ad at 9:06 a.m.  as of 12:51, i have ELEVEN emails!!!  i'd like to make a few comments about this process:

1.  WE ARE TRUSTING GOD TO HELP US MAKE WISE DECISIONS
2.  WE ARE NOT JUDGING ANY OF THE E-MAILS OR DECIDING IF PEOPLE ARE "DESERVING"
3.  WE WILL HELP AS MANY PEOPLE AS WE REALISTICALLY CAN

my ad was pretty clear that we've already "adopted" a family... but many of the emails basically want Christmas gifts.  I get that.  For several years, I couldn't buy my kids their gifts, and if not for my parents, I would be the one writing a plea for help!!! 

but a few of the emails are EXACTLY what we were looking for!!!!  and this is sorta where I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO ASK FOR HELP!!!  i think my friend Nicki has one thing figured out about life... YOU HAVE TO NETWORK!!!  and right now, i'm counting on NETWORKING!!!  i'm quite certain i will be placing other requests... but right now, i'm looking for two VOLUNTEERS!!!!  i stress the word VOLUNTEER!!!  ;)

1.  A PHOTOGRAPHER

2.  A HAIR STYLIST

if you are interested in donating your services, i'll get with you!!!!  and if you AREN'T one of those, but are interested in getting in on the RACK ACTION, let me know!!!!! 

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Before & After for an UgLy bUffeT !!!

 
 
here's the story of the WINNER of ReInVintaged Designs'
 "ugly dresser" contest!!
i know she's actually a "buffet" but who are we to discriminate!
isn't she BEAUTIFUL NOW?!?! 
 
 
 
 
 
When she came to me, she looked like this!
her owner had found her at a garage sale... someone had considered refinishing her.  check out her fantastic Jacobean legs!!!  she screamed potential!!
 
her owners wanted her to be "red" and "black... ish" :)
my FAVORITE paint is Annie Sloan Chalk Paint so we went with
Graphite & Emperor's Silk
 
once again, i'm so not good at all the pics along the way... tho i did a little better this time!!

 1.  i knew i wanted little distressed "peeks" of the Emperor's Silk, so i hit all the "distressing areas"... like the corners, edges, and embellishments with E.S.  you can kinda see that in the pic above!

2.  i knew i wanted the doors and drawers to PoP with the Emperor's silk... so they got two coats.



3.  next, i got out my favorite sanding sponge block thingy!!  looks just like this one!!  my husband said to me last night as i was frantically looking for it "you mean that thing's not dead yet??"  not quite.... :)




 look at that Emperor's Silk peeking through!!!  love love love!!! and i LOVE the drawer embellishments after i went over them with the sanding thingy!! 

4.  i applied A.S. dark wax to everything... but especially paying attention to the drawer embellishments. 

 





 i clearly lack ANY photography skills!!  flash or no flash... they both look terrible! 

All Put Back Together!!!!
the ONLY problem with this piece is she doesn't get to stay in my house!







Friday, November 9, 2012

its a... DIME!!!

ok... so for those of you following along with the "skylar saga"... you know we were expecting 6 balls of furry love in a week.  baby daddy... unknown.

at first everything seemed to be going ok.  her ... boobs... got HUGE!!  her belly... sorta got a little bigger... sorta... not really... 

i kept reading oodles of info on prego dogs and what to expect and the different phases...
my father in law built this amazing whelping box for her to whelp in!  whelp... that's when a dog gives birth... yeah, i didn't know that either :)

something wasn't right though... we just knew... mike and i finally said it out loud a couple of days ago.  i knew we needed to go to the vet.

so this morning, i load sky in the van and head to work.  every day i go to McDonald's for my diet coke.  today i got sky a sausage biscuit.  she loved it.  she dropped a piece of biscuit in the cup holder.  i keep change in the cup holder.  i said "sky, DON'T eat the money!!"  what she heard was "waa waa waa blaa" as she scarfed down the biscuit crumbs.

we go into my office... we're there all of 12 minutes when i notice sky is awfully quiet.  that can't be good.  so i start investigating and BAM, she pooped.  thanks sky.  then she got a drink out of the water fountain... aka, toilet... and locked herself in the bathroom twice.  i love that dog.

off to the vet...  here's a break down:
1.  skylar is a BEAUTIFUL lab!  her head is proportionate to her body.  she's muscular not fat. 
2.  skylar has a WONDERFUL personality!  not hyper, skittish, or aggressive.
3.  skylar is NOT pregnant anymore :(  at some point she lost all her babies...
4.  skylar is SUPER healthy!!  there are no adverse affects from the miscarriage.
5.  skylar DID NOT listen to her mommy and she ATE A DIME!!!
6.  skylar will be eating peanut butter smeared on bread twice a day for the weekend in hopes of pushing out the dime.
7.  mommy and daddy will be looking through all of skylar's poop this weekend making sure the dime passes.  fun.

so there it is... no puppy love for the gonser's.  i'm sad.  we're all sad.  but when i needed it most, mike reminded me of this:

"i'm sorry... remember God gives us what he wants us to have!!!!!  i'm not sure if i made that up or what!!!!  Love you!!"

and mike is right.  God IS taking care of skylar!  and God's plan isn't always OUR plan.  He loves all his creations... even dogs... and He's keeping Sky safe.

so... that's it.  oh... one more thing...
if you've ever wondered what it looks like when a dog swallows a dime... this is it!!  oh, and if you've wondered what it's like to for the dime in the poop... let me know... i'll get you our address!!!!
 
love to all!!!
laurie



Wednesday, November 7, 2012

is that a LAUNDRY ROOM or a PARLOUR?!?!

i REALLY need something more mentally challenging to do during the day... because what happens is, i'm bored... so i start looking a furniture and decorating blogs... and i trip up on one like i did today and i'm sitting here BEATING MYSELF UP!!!
~ my house isn't big enough
~ i don't decorate enough
~ my laundry room isn't spotless
~ i don't make my own homemade laundry detergent and keep it in a pretty glass jar on a tray!!!!!

WHATEVER!!!  WHO DOES THAT?!?!  my cleaning lady said to me two weeks ago "it was nice to be able to walk into the laundry room and clean that bathroom"... she clearly lacks a FILTER!!!  but the point is... not only is my laundry room NOT SPOTLESS... you USUALLY CAN'T SEE THE FLOOR!!!  IT'S COVERED IN LAUNDRY!!!  IT A LAUNDRY ROOM!!!!  DUH!!!  heck, for at least two months, the toilet seat didn't have a lid!!  our dog thought we installed a drinking fountain for her!   

why am i telling you all of this... because that blog inspired me AND made me feel like i'm incompetent!!  i know that woman was just showing her lovely home... and some great ideas... but i want my readers to know i'm REAL!!!  i REALLY work 40 hours a week!!  i REALLY have 6 kids!!  i REALLY have 2 dogs!!  .... and a hubby... and puppies on the way... and a furniture business... and my kids activities.... blah blah blah!!  that is REAL!!!!!

i realized this morning, i've gained 8 lbs!!!  i seriously can't fit into 75% of my pants/jeans.... i beat myself up about that too!!!  but NO MORE!!!!  i'm back on track!!!  i've isolated the problem!!  i had a LOOONG talk with myself!!!   i can do this!!! 

okay... now... my husband is going to DIE!!!!!  and i want to warn you... the pictures involved are VERY GRAPHIC!!!  there's a chance you're going to need therapy after this!!!  brandie layne... if you are reading this... after the vomiting stops... you may want to book a flight to elkhart for an intervention on me!!!  and all my other "organization loving friends"... you're welcome to join in!!  brandie will need help!!  i will be inserting some pics of a "laundry room" i found on line... i will NOT reference where as i'm sure it's a lovely family...

 

 

 

what caught my eye is the LAMP!!  REALLY??  do you have lighting issues?  because if not... what the?!?!  a lamp in MY laundry room would be crushed in seven seconds!!  and how about the soap... on the tray... in the jar.... does she sedate her kids???  mine would have it knocked over... brady would bury army men in the powder... that's not going to work for us...

i just don't know what to say...

 
OKAY.... READY??????
 
i just texted one of my kids.... my instructions were:
"open the laundry room.  DON'T touch ANYTHING!!  send me a few pics"
 
what she expected to find was a pristine laundry room that i was about to brag on!!!  what she REALLY found was this:
 
NOW THAT IS REAL BABY!!! see the basket... heaped with junk... THAT is MY organization!!!  oh, and don't forget the pink drawers!!  that's where i keep "extra school supplies"!!  see the purex that i BOUGHT... in the plastic container!  oh yeah!!

we have a complete toilet seat!!  the towel is my "laundry sorting"... i think... please note, there ARE both HAND SOAP and TOOTH PASTE!!!!  we wash AND brush!!!

and finally... check out the sorting!!  that's ALL ME!!!!
 
 
HONEY... I'M SO SORRY I AIRED OUR DIRTY LAUNDRY!!!!!  BUT I HAD TO!!!  ladies... i hope you giggled alittle... i hope you feel good about yourself... and i hope you have an AMAZING WEDNESDAY!!!!
 
laurie
 

Thursday, November 1, 2012

definitely meant to be...

some days i'm super in the mood to write... not so much today!  but i do want to share a cool "God thing" that happened this morning!

i've already told the story of "hope" the breast cancer awareness dresser:


when i had this idea i was super excited!!  i really genuinely love giving back.  i personally feel i'm blessed coming and going!  so i like to give it back!

i've been alittle bummed that "hope" has just been sitting in our garage... covered up... :(  definite sad face...

well, my daughter sabreana works at The Fix Salon in Elkhart (alittle plug there!) and she along with the salon are very involved with Hello Gorgeous... doing make-overs for women battling cancer.  i LOVE this organization!  of course i also love and support cancer research and prevention organizations, but right now, cancer is a reality, and Hello Gorgeous is a wonderful group of people, working together to help women feel beautiful during the fight for their lives!  i knew i wanted to donate 50% of the proceeds from "hope" to Hello Gorgeous!

but i can't donate it if "hope" is still sitting in my gargage!  i feel like my hands are alittle tied... a piece like that needs more exposure than i can give right now, to really maximize the money it raises...

here's where God steps in!!  this morning i found out Hello Gorgeous is having an event Saturday, November 10th at the Century Center in South Bend!!!  WITH A SILENT AUCTION!!!  now THAT is what i'm talking about!!  THAT is where "hope" belongs!!   so i contacted Hello this morning... they even realized i'm sabreana's mom :)  ... and i'm happy to say, "hope" WILL BE IN THE SILENT AUCTION NEXT WEEK!!!    and 100% of the money is going to Hello Gorgeous!!! 

of course i did all of this without consulting my hubby & business partner!!  bad laurie, BAD!!  so i emailed him... confessed what i'd done... and i just got the thumbs up email a second ago!  whew!!  i CAN go home tonight!! 

i am just soooo excited!!!  God stepped in and "hope" will really be able to raise some money!!!  now to find the replacement handles for the top drawer ASAP!!! 

have a blessed day and be creative!!
laurie